Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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