I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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