If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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