Nicole vs. Life
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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