the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
