Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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