Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
