so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
