porn star boner night. come get it.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
