He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
