I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
