you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
