No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
