Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
