just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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