Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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