When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You smell like a Billy Joel song
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize