I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
