You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
