My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
