did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
