2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
