I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
