Your mouth is God's brothel.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
