so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
