i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
