i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
