A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
