Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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