thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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