I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
