I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
