Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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