Define "chronic" masturbator.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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