You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
