Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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