why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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