When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
