Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
