Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize