I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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