I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
