I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I've blown a few things in my day
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
