so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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