he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
