Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
