Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
