Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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