"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i drank out of a bidet.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He? As in you personified your dick?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
