garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
