I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize