I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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