How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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