Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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