I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
