My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
