i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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