I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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