Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
