There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
