Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
