Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We just shotgunned beers for America
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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