Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize