Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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