I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
