The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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