we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Randomize
