is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
