Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize