there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
