So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
