I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I did not marry a roomba.
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