she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
